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Hypnotic Rapport

By Scott Braxton, Ph.D., MBA

One evening, a long ago, I went out with my brother Jeff. We were out to meet women. I would strike up conversations with ease and he wanted to know how I did it. I had to stop and think. I wanted to experiment with him. So I said, “Think about someone you are really close to. Is there a feeling you have, inside?”

  • He said “Of course there is”
  • I said “if you were to point somewhere, where would it be?”
  • He pointed to his chest.
  • I said, “Focus on that spot and focus on being in deep rapport. Is there a color?”
  • “Royal blue”. I asked him to spread the color around his body, pay particular attention; think royal blue thoughts.
  • He began to think and I asked him to notice how the feeling can become stronger, almost seeping out of his body. Surrounding him like an energy field, like a royal blue aura, like a warm blanket of comfort, a royal blue blanket.
  • I could see from the relaxed look of his body and the genuine smile on his face that he was feeling that feeling of deep rapport.
  • I asked Jeff to spot someone else, and begin to feel those feelings. Let those feelings expand to reach out to the other person like a giant hand just to touch the outside texture of that person’s clothing. Almost feel what it would feel like. Allow that royal blue sensation to mingle and really go inside that.
  • Suddenly, Jeff was smiling widely and feeling comfortable and expanding that sense of awareness. His breathing was deep and relaxed. The other person turned around, noticed Jeff out of the corner of her eye and was compelled to come over. She started asking Jeff all sorts of questions and was convinced she knew him from somewhere.

As you think about it now, have there been times in the past where you instantly connected with another person?

You probably had the exact same experience—taking a sensation inside you and almost reaching out and moving into the other person’s experience.

Begin by thinking only beneficial thoughts. Start with a high unconditional positive regard for the other person. Begin to smile and feel comfortable and trusting. They will reciprocate.

This was all outside your awareness before. Now you will be able to do this with ease. Practice.

The really interesting thing is that as Jeff and this stranger kept talking, like they knew each other for years, their breathing synchronized. They started moving in the same rhythms. They matched and mirrored each other’s postures automatically. It was an amazing dance to watch.

The more it happens, the deeper it becomes, automatically.